The Nothing Box

I recently attended a two part series by our School District on Motivating & Teaching Elementary Boys. The purpose of the workshop was to educate female teachers on how to better tailor their classroom and instruction to boys, who are failing in the public school system and are more at risk to be labeled ADHD, LD, or Behaviorally Delayed than girls). I learned so much about the minds of boys (and men) and how to use that knowledge to better educate them in the public school classroom. I am sure that if we ever have a boy, knowing this stuff will be incredibly helpful.

Some info I learned:

1. Boys brains have to "re-set" every 12-15 minutes. When you want to talk to them, and make sure they hear you, you have approximately 12-15 minutes to talk and then you start to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher (wah-wah-wah). In a nutshell, keep it short and to the point. (My mother taught me this right before I got married- she said "If you have something you need to say, you have about 10 minutes to say it before he checks out. You'll know when that happens. Just say what you want in as few words as possible, and chances are, the argument will go a lot better. ). If the conversation or lesson is long, you need to do something (like have everyone move) for the boys' brains to reset.
2. Boys brains are set to respond to movement. Therefore, if you want to get their attention, you need to move your arm or something, not keep talking. They love movement. Boy babies will respond to a moving mobile more than a human face (girls look at the face).
3. Boys love schedules and check off lists. They love knowing what to expect and crossing it off when they are done. Let them know what's coming next.
4. Boys will do anything for a little competition. Therefore, when you are trying to teach them, make it a game and they'll love it AND learn.
5. Boys need a lot more work space than girls. Requiring them to work in desk pods where they might be squished by a classmate (even a girl-yuck!) is not ideal. Give them the freedom to sprawl on the floor or go to another place with more room to work.
6. One popular buzz word in the teaching realm today is "cooperative learning", where you make sure your students have a "partner" to turn to to discuss whatever they are learning. We've spent a lot of time in this, and I teach my students that when they are talking in this manner, they need to sit knee to knee and look the partner in the eye. This is NOT BOY FRIENDLY. Think about it, when guys hang out, do they sit up close all over each other with their hands on each other's arms like we chics do? NO WAY? If they are not DOING something while talking, they are probably sitting beside each other, facing the same direction. This is okay with them. It is not with us. Teachers need to be aware of this so they can get their boys to talk.
7. And last but not least is my personal favorite (and the one I am jealous of)- it is called THE NOTHING BOX. Girls' brains are wired like a rubber band ball of connections-which is why we can multi-task and we can begin a conversation talking about the grocery list and end up crying about something someone said to us. Guys don't have this capability. Their brains are like boxes where their thoughts are carefully categorized in neat boxes. When they want to talk about money, they open the "money box" and discuss it. When the conversation about money is over, they reinsert their thoughts and close the box, moving onto another box. There is little jumping from one open box to another. The instructor was quick to point out that men also have a box that is labeled "NOTHING". Come on, girls. You've all been there. Sitting with your sweetie and thinking about stuff and asking him, "What are you thinking about?" You already know what I am about to say...he replies "Nothing." Men are capable of thinking about nothing; about switching their brains off and this is totally infuriating to us females. We CANNOT do it, not matter how hard we try. We were simply not wired that way. To see the video our instructor showed, click on this link...(keep in mind, however, that he is trying to teach a point as well as make it hilariously funny.) http://marriageresourcecenter.org/videogallery/4/lg/VideoWidget8.htm

Today, I wish I had a NOTHING box. I am sitting here at home, sick again :(, and as I tried to nap today my thoughts wandered...what is my class doing? Is T. behaving? I hope so...what will I do about preparing for next week? Should I go to school after the kids leave?...where is the dog? I hope he is not at the road. I wonder what we will have for dinner tonight because I sure don't feel like cooking...I need to get better; I have got to get back to training for this run. I feel like I am turning into a blob of jelly... let's see, how much medicine have I taken today? What if the Clomid worked this month and I am pregnant but I don't know it yet? Will I screw up my baby?...What if it did work, that would be so cool...oh no, what if it really worked and we get twins...

I think you get my drift. I wish I had a nothing box sometimes so that I could just rest and turn off this overactive brain of mine. I love it, though, that the Father made men and women differently. I so need LeGrande to stop me in my emotional, worrisome, tirade and remind me that I (and my emotions and hormones) are NOT in control...and to point me to the One who is...the One who knows my heart, hormones, and emotions and loves me still.

Today I raise my 43 cent cup of Raspberry-Echinacea tea to that One.